I consider myself a strong individual. I pride myself on being the one that everyone else can lean on. Being the one who can hold on till I have a moment to myself or with my inner circle. So, I was not happy when today I got teary-eyed as I was talking to my Crossfit Coach, Chris Harrison at Crossfit 38:16 in Desoto, TX
This is the second time in 2 years that a coach’s comments has hit a nerve. I get why but I don’t like it. So, today it was this.
For about a week, I’ve been sharing one of my strategies and the lack of success. My goal is to increase my intensity and my speed. No matter how hard I try my tempo is always slow. During the WOD today, Chris “politely suggested” that I move faster. I responded that I only have one speed. I told him that I have been looking but have yet to find another. His response, “its in there.”
After the WOD, he gave me some strategies for increasing my speed. He said aim to “red line” and then back up. Now, I’ll admit he said red-line but I heard flat-line. Regardless, I was nodding my head. Truthfully, I had no idea what he was talking about, let alone how to do it. Then he said “It’s mental. You’re scared. You’re scared of the burn”.
That’s when it happened I got teary-eyed because he was right. I’m scared of passing out. I’m scared of being so sore I can’t get out of bed. I’m scared of injuring my shoulder, my knee, my back. And it’s also true that in my business I don’t go all out because I’m scared. I’m scared increased intense will have no results. I’m scared that I’ll fail big time and publicly.
Then, Chris asked “Do I trust him?” At some level, I know I do. After a two year hiatus, I returned to his box. I attempt the WODs and instructions he puts on the board. I can’t quantify my trust. I do know that whatever it is it’s enough. So, tomorrow is a new start. I’ll aim for the “red line” then back up at my box and in my business.