Self-imposed Angst

As a part of my recalibrating for the 2nd quarter of 2018, I subscribed for a year to a Guided Meditated App, called Headspace  The goal is to create more headspace by being present and aware. The visual picture that most resonates with me is traffic on a highway.  My thoughts, emotions, and physical feelings are each vehicles on the highway but they are not who I am.  I choose to navigate the traffic or to watch.  I have to be able to watch so that I can prioritize, reroute, or just rest.

I start each morning with 10 minutes of Guided Meditation using Headspace.  As I breath in an out, I try to remember that I am breathing in God who is always present and omnipotent.  This morning it was hardest to focus. It was because I kept trying to navigate the traffic.

My 3-day weekend was full and each day required more tasks, more interactions with people, and deeper connections than the previous day.  So, I found myself this morning trying to justify who I was in each situation that didn’t go smoothly or as planned.  No one has complained to me about a comment or an action. Yet, I find myself needing to justify myself.

In every endeavor, my goal is to bring my best.  Sometimes, I fail miserably and sometimes it is only lackluster.  The beauty is that that is all I am called to do.  God is not asking me to justify my actions.  He is not asking me to prove that I made the best decisions.  My decisions are not impacting His ability to grow, use, or meet the prayers of anyone else.

He, in his omnipotence, works what ever each of us bring to every situation out for the good of all that are involved. It doesn’t matter if it is direct involvement, indirect involvement, ancillary, or rumored.  Somehow, He works it out.  That is His responsibility.  Mine is to show up and be present.

“Trust the process” – GOD

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: