Ghosting is typically used when talking about romantic relationships. It also fits with how I handled the past 14 days or so. Up until mid August, I was pretty active on my business social media accounts. I posted a minimum of 3 posts on each every day in addition to a short video for Mindful Nightfalls or Mindful Mornings. Then I just couldn’t.
I was overwhelmed but not depressed. Tired of pushing but not disgusted. I just couldn’t muster the interest or the energy for the processes. Even though I knew I was the best version of myself when I did. Even though my impact had a greater reach when I did. I just couldn’t. So, I didn’t instead for about two weeks I recouped by ghosting.
Initially, I carried guilt for not explaining or planning the hiatus. It was rather abrupt and did seem rather unprofessional. It was not at all aligned with the reputation I wanted in the market place. So even though I was on a hiatus for a short time it was more unbearable than just doing whatevs.
It was what I needed. During my brief hiatus, I prioritized my Mom’s shower remodel, visiting with my nieces 3 days a week, sitting and watching TV with my hubby. During my brief hiatus, I didn’t go on 5 mile treks with a 15-lb weighted vest. My eating habits sucked. If I wanted I ate it which resulted in lots of heart burn.
Then one day last week “it” just lifted. I was excited about the possibilities and the opportunities first. Since COVID-19 started there have been moments, when I had to intentionally shift my perspective from “I have to” to “I get to”. I had to remind myself of all my blessings. Somewhere in July, making that shift became an everyday, multiple times a day occurrence.
Can’t exactly pinpoint when it happened. I just realized I was carrying a weight everyday. So, I hunkered down in my processes and – continued – committed to serving more, to learning more. And then somewhere around mid August like I said I just couldn’t.
It’s my fault. Because I didn’t schedule or hold to my routine for rest and relaxation. There wasn’t a set time for a a weekday just for me once a month. I need a trip to disconnect once a quarter. These are thoughts and prescriptions that I have yet to implement. Hence, the abrupt hiatus in August. Ghosting.
As a result, my business took a hit as well. I lost momentum with my higher paying services, lost a client or two.