This week has been great. There were definite challenges and set backs. Overall, it has been great. This is saying a lot since Sunday started and ended with overwhelming emotions and the need to cry.
My Bigmama died in July 2017. We moved next door to her when I was 3 years old. So, she has always been a presence in my life. I was not prepared for Mother’s Day without her. In typical fashion, I looked at my circle and tried to determine who would need me and how I could help. Turns out, it was me, myself, and I.
The day ended and started the same. At church in the morning, a hug and a prayer from a friend who noticed I was “yet holding on” sent me to the bathroom to cry. At the end of the day after a brief trip to Bigmams’s grave site, I found myself in the bathroom crying, regrouped, and then in my hubby’s arms sobbing. I mean body-moving sobs. This is not me. I pride myself on being aware of my emotions but controlling them.
As a result of Sunday and last week, I realized I needed to tweak my ‘Rise and Grind’ (NOTE: Check Out Daymond John aka thesharkdaymond for more info on this idea). Here’s my new Rise and Grind
- 4:30 AM Do not hit snooze. Get out of bed
- 4:40 AM 15 minutes of guided mediation. I use the Headspace App by Andy Puddicombe
- 5:00 AM – 6:30 AM My business – content, review and update calendar, research, etc.
- 6:30 AM – 7:30 AM Get my two littles up, fed, and to school
- 7:45 AM – 8:30 AM Go on the Offense. THIS HAS MADE THE DIFFERENCE!
For me ‘Go on the Offense’ means, I attack whatever maybe preparing to harm or hinder me or my family this day. I do this by turning up the worship music or listening to scriptures as soon as I drop the kids off and praying constantly. I pray as I drive and as I exercise. I am easily distracted so I often have to bring my mind back to praying. In this season, I recognize my distracted thinking quicker. I attribute this to the practice of guided meditation which I started in Dec 2017.
What has going on the offense done for me. It has changed my approach and my emotions when I am in situations or not following the plan. In the past, this could send me to reflect and if I could not reflect I would stop being present which means I would withdraw. This is not always good. It is more akin to a deer in headlights. I still have no control over how or when my “Ruths”, my widows, or my orphans will need me. This week, at least, it has been less disconcerting and less draining when their needs interrupt the plan. I’ve been more present which makes it more enjoyable to serve.