On August 5th, I completed a 24-mile trail run in the Cedar Hill State Park. The plan was to complete the 36K of the Blazin Summer Sufferfest on August 3rd. Unfortunately, it was postponed and subsequently rescheduled to August 10th. August 10th did not work with my schedule. So at 6 AM on August 5th, Monday morning I sat scared in my truck, in the dark, at the beginning of the DORBA trail.
Getting to the trail on Monday morning was the first “mini-seminar”. Getting out of the truck was another “mini-seminar”. The real test came at mile 22 when my app told me I was done and the trail in front of me told me I was not.
THE Real Test
At mile 22, my app told me I was done. And the trail in front of me told me that I wasn’t. I didn’t know how many more miles I had left. I was convinced that I had missed the ending. Even though I knew that wasn’t possible. I couldn’t regroup. Let me back up.
At mile 18, I took a phone call. After that phone call, I was an emotional mess. I was crying and snot was flying. Then I was mad at myself for crying. Because even as I cried I knew it was the meaning that I was giving to the facts. Regardless, I couldn’t regroup. So, I called my lifeline aka my sister.
My sister reminded me that this is why I was on this adventure. She reminded me that I purposely chose this adventure to meet a different version of myself on the trail. In this instance, I was facing perceptions of my reality while I was emotionally spent and on a mission. So, my opportunity was to figure out how I was going to use the moment to shift my mindset for my future goals. And I did.
I put on worship music. I informed the earlier caller via text that I couldn’t take any more calls at the moment. I refocused. Set my mind. And continued. So rather than focusing on the perceived upcoming reality or what may be going on somewhere else, I was fully present. I was aware of when the sky broke through the clouds. I was aware of when the sound of people or cars was near. And that turned out to be my downfall.
All the signs said that I was at the end of the trail. Then technology said I was done. And then the trail turned away from the sounds and I was going down hill. I couldn’t accept that. So, I sat and lamented to Jesus. I called the State Park office. They put me on hold. I hung up. And whined to Jesus some more. They called me back and assured me that I would be done in 30 minutes.
Well, when the trail took me further away from the sky and the silence grew, I sat again. I said, “Jesus, I told you those people didn’t know what they were talking about.” Eventually, a runner came along. The only runner that I saw all morning. I attempted to ask her without crying which way was the start. Needless to say she heard the tears and assured me that I was headed in the right direction.
Then I regrouped. Got up. And began moving. I learned a few things about my mindset. At the end, I trusted technology. I did not trust my prior experience. I did not trust people who had prior experience. I only trusted a person who was on the same journey. I also learned that my preparation had prepared me for more than I could imagaine.
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